Antennating

What do we take for granted, what do we need, and how do we make them? These are questions about relations which one can discuss for hours on end with their loved ones and only sometimes come out with a reasonable answer. I cannot answer these, but can present my own understanding by observations, trial and error and debates about these topics with my friends. I call this being tied in knots on how to tie knots; the confusions of how to create long lasting relations. “To tie a knot” could mean to marry, but here, it simply means to connect. Connections that exist in a graph. “To tie a knot” means to create an edge between two individuals.

Everyone has multiple knots tied to them which connects them with this world. Be it connections to humans, pets, places or objects (we can go on and on about what we humans can connect with). Objects and places are generally one way connections, don’t ask questions and don’t have expectations from us. Our pets, however, have expectations, are mostly bound to us and can’t willy-nilly leave us by their own accords (most of the time, sadly true). I will focus on human connections here, the most confusing.

Since birth, we have been creating connections, by imprinting, intuition, or logical conclusions. The trend shifts from being intuition based to a more logical based as we age, for most. But this is a spectrum based on the personality and understanding we have on our human nature. The intuition, vibe and energy match are commonly the first step to know and create connections. Only then does the logic come in, and for most, this (overthinking or logic) kills the essence of the relationship.

It is not so that being logical is bad, but in the hands of someone who depended mostly on intuition to start with, it is like poison to the relationships. Why? Because we ask the wrong questions at the wrong time, and get tied in knots on what the relationship represents. This happens more as we grow up; we ask more questions of what we want and then create relations. Always taking it for granted on how we first created our relations and what our natural instincts are.

Intuition doesn’t tell us straightforwardly (at least for me and whom I talked/debated) when a relationship is no longer the one we thought it was when we first tied the knots. It’s not just you or me, a knot is needed on both ends on the thread for it to remain, and we spend so much of our time as adults overthinking the useless points which inevitably loosens our knots with others.

But everyone is different. What they say and what they actually mean and feel is drastically different. A “friend” for someone could be “I know you and I like your presence”, while for others it could mean “I have sworn to be by your side for life and protect you from any harm”. It first becomes important to understand what does a relation mean to you. What is the weight of the edges between the nodes? Self clarity and introspection is the first step to a spotless mind. It protects you and your loved ones.

Well, let’s come to the main topic. How can we use logic to not loosen but rather give strength to our knots. Who am I to tell you about this? Well, I am someone who lacks the natural instincts to vibe check others. As such, reasoning and logic has been my only way to govern and create relations. Through trial and error I have created my own “reasoning” or “rules”. Yes, rules and definitions for each level of relations, to protect me from the untrustworthy and to prevent me from self-destructing good relations.

No, these are not rules imposed on others. They are self-imposed rules. What does that mean? Well let’s get to it. Although, I will make sure to not write an essay here, and try to keep it simple and more intuitive. I am not going to explain my own rules, but rather give an idea on how you could create yours if you “need them”. Yes, do not try to force impose these if you are good at intuition and don’t overthink. You already are blessed with good relations; lose the doubt and enjoy the life.

For those who lie in between, i.e. you instinctively create connections, but later bring the logic or you are dependent on logic but not sure how to use it. Let’s work on some definitions and rules.

For starting, you must understand, these rules depend on definitions, and for each level of relationship (based on depth of connection), the rules increase and mutate into something more special. I will explain them based on the most basic relationship tier of friends. Deep yet still places to go.

These rules lay the foundations of what a connection is. I will write more on this later and in more depth. After having more debates with my friends and family on this topic and gaining more clarity. Have a nice day, and let’s tie a knot together someday(Blog buddies?).